I had no idea how much one person would be able to miss another human being! I am not saying that good is not happening in my life, because that would be a lie, in fact I have never felt closer to God EVER! But, this time is still very hard for me.  I actually found a pretty cool band with a pretty cool song and I want to share some of the lyrics from one of their songs...I would check them out by the way.

The Fold  (The Title Track) from the cd: This Too Shall Pass 

It doesn’t work that way, you’ve seen enough to know better
Better recalculate it, this time use your heart and not your mind
Maybe you just don’t get it, and you’ve worked too hard to throw it all away
Maybe you’re just not ready baby, to start over again

Set set set, now you’re ready to go
You couldn’t make it better if it never belonged
You can take your time, figure it out
This is a call to all the pain (this too shall pass)

We’ll find a brand new way, you’ve seen enough to do better
When you recalculate it, darling use your heart
Maybe you just don’t get it, and you’ve worked too hard to throw it all away
Maybe you’re just not willing baby, to start over again

Set set set, now you’re ready to go
You couldn’t make it better if it never belonged
You can take your time, figure it out
This is a call to all the pain (this too shall pass)

It’s funny how we starve for our salvation, maybe it was right in front of you
Searching in the strangest of all places, maybe it was there beside you
Know that this will pass

Also, these versus in the Bible have been great for me during this time: I Corinthians 13 and Proverbs 3...God is so cool, because he is just continually showing me things in His holy word that He KNOWS i need to be hearing at this time!!

I just have to get this out of me...I know that there probably won't be anyone who will be reading this, and that is okay, because it is not my desire necessarily for people to read this, but so much more for me to just get this out.  Anyway, after church today I was told by Adrienne that she wasn't sure if she felt the same about me anymore, that she was confused and that she really just needs some time to think by her self.  Essentially, she was telling me that she wanted a break from our relationship and try to "find herself" by being single.  She says that she still thinks we will be fine, but she just needs some time by herself.  This was one of the most devistating pieces of news that I have ever received in my life.  But, I guess that it is better for her to tell me now that she is unsure than for us to stay together, get married, and THEN her tell me.  I honestly think that we will be fine too and that this "time" will actually help me get to know who I am too, and to more define my life in Christ...to get back into the steady habits of spending time with God.  I think that after this, our relationship will be better than before (although right now, just thinking of how long our "seperation" may be is killing me inside)...Already, just like 2 hours later, I am realizing how she does need this time (although, I was planning on this separation to come right before she went off to college, because I knew that once she was away, we wouldn't be able to talk to each other every night, but whatever she has made her choice to do so now and I know I can't change her mind...even when I promise to her I am going to change in the areas of my life that she does not especially like). 

I honestly am just so...."blah" right now though, but I am trying so hard to just think of how it will make us closer, but oh it is so hard right now...anyway, I still have so many things that I feel like I need to get out, but there is something that is more important for me to do right now and that is to go get my Bible and just read it and pray.  If any of you are in the regular habit of praying, then please remember me, thank you.